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Vin Diesel

added by Pete, 06/02/2006

"Vin Diesel facts"

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Vin
  • When Vin Diesel runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
  • Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
  • Vin Diesel can slam a revolving door.
  • Vin Diesel impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round.
  • Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.
  • Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
  • The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.
  • The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.
  • When Vin Diesel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.
  • If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
  • Circles only exist because Vin Diesel beat the crap out of some squares.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach Vin Diesel to fish and he will rid the ocean of all perceivable life forms.
  • Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV and the game beat itself out of fear.
  • Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
  • You are what you eat. Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
  • In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
  • Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • Vin Diesel plays Minesweeper with real mines.
  • Goliath threw the match against David when he heard the winner had to face Vin Diesel.
  • Vin Diesel, as a fetus, survived 13 abortion attempts. He came out of the womb with the umbical cord that would eventually kill the doctor.
  • Vin Diesel impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round.
  • The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.
  • All of Vin Diesel's genes are dominant.
  • There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
  • If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
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