what does a blonde say after sex?

"do you really all play for the same football team?"

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what's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

walks home

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what's the difference between the titanic and a blonde?

you know how many men went down on the titanic.

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blonde : "could you take your ring off - it's hurting".

bloke : "thats my watch".

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what do you get if five blondes do handstands?

at least three brunettes.

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what do you call a brunette between two blondes?

an interpreter.

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what is the mating call of a blonde?

i think i'm drunk.

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what is the mating call of an ugly blonde?

i said i'm drunk!

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what is the mating call of a brunette?

is that damn blonde gone yet?

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how is a blonde different from a limousine?

not everyone has been in a limo.

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what do smart blondes and ufos have in common?

you always hear about them but you never see them.

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how you drown a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

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what does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men?

her ankles.

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what do you call a naked upside down blonde?

a brunette with bad breath.

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what do you call a blonde with two brain cells? pregnant

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what do you call a blonde with a half of a brain?

gifted.

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how does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

unfertilised.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday?

tell her a joke on monday.

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why are blonde's coffins y-shaped?

because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

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what does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

once their on their backs their screwed.

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how did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

she fell out of the tree.

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what's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?

you can negotiate with a terrorist.