what's the difference between Michael Jackson and the Pope?

the Pope's dead.

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what's the opposite of christopher reeve?

christopher walken

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what did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for christmas?

cancer

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the little girl comes home from school, "mummy mummy! I got an 'a' in class today!". the mum looks at the girl and says. "what do you care - you've got cancer."

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what's red and black and gets flushed down the toilet?

a miscarriage

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what's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

cot death

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what's black and blue and doesn't like sex?

a rape victim

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what's better than wining a gold metal at the paralympics?

having 2 legs

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how do you make a women scream twice?

rape her then wipe your cock on her curtains

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whats so good about an ethiopian blowjob?

you know she'll swallow